I am interviewing Randi Feldbauer. She is a BFA Photo major. She currently prefers digital photography, but has experience with several different kinds. Most of her works over the past year have been focused on the forgotten, discarded, and decaying objects that she goes out and searches for. This quality of work is what her peers and teachers know her for.
We met up on the third floor lounge of the Civic Square Building and she showed me her portfolios that consisted of past work up to what she has been currently working on.
R: This is my older stuff. I had wanted to do more portrait work, which I really strayed away from. I really don’t do portraits anymore. It was mostly a learning experience. I had done portraits to understand… I had wanted to do magazine work when I first came in, but I’ve completely strayed away from it.
[Flipping through the portfolio]
Mixed in there’s a little bit later work; Junior year work. Junior year I really came into my own and I really planned out what I was going to do. What I did with my later portfolio is what I’m going to do for thesis.
K: What are you thinking of doing for Thesis? What’s you main idea?
R: I’ll better explain it when I show you. It’s hard to conceptualize and to explain to people.
[talking about earlier work as I continue to take in the contents of one portfolio]
R: I think then I was just trying to get by. This is a newer study I had gone to Myrtle Beach with a couple of friends for spring and I was trying to take pictures with different angles. I was told in class that even though the area was busy and crowded I got isolated aspects of it. You would never know that I was in a different place.
K: You attention to detail; you see a lot of texture in all of your pictures. I personally love detail, it’s gorgeous and you really can pull a lot of information from it.
[explaining a picture]
R:This was when we were at Myrtle Beach. This was actually a beach, but there was actually some kind of run-off that went to a large swamp. Here’s the beach and the ocean and it ran-off in the middle of the sand. Something like that would not happen, or be seen in New Jersey so I was paying attention to the differences that were between. I didn’t want it to be like “Ooo I’m in Myrtle Beach, I’m going to take pictures of all my friends drinking and getting drunk and all that.” That’s just not something taken seriously.
K: No. These are very serious, deep, and beautiful.
R: I wanted to get a coast guard kind of aspect. I couldn’t just imagine these. I print large now, 11” by 14”. I just like the large scale. But I couldn’t imagine these larger. It didn’t seem right. They were more like postcards. They were meant to be looked at and appreciated for what they are but not to be taken much more seriously than that.
K: Absolutely.
R: These are all digital. I do all digital work now, I don’t use film at all.
[we discuss one of her more recent images]
K: I really like the separation [the viewer feels].
R: That’s actually one of my favorites!
[when coming upon some work from freshman and sophomore year mixed in]
R: In looking back I just thing I don’t really like my freshman and sophomore year stuff because it’s so much more different than what I do now.
K: Well I’m really excited to see what you do now then. Because I always loved your stuff. Your work always had these very emotive undertones, you could really tell there was a lot going on, a big story there.
R: Okay so this next series, I had gone to visit my grandparents for the summer. It’s a series on my family. For some reason, with my family, I am close to them but sometimes I feel like an outsider. This is meant to show that.
I also feel that, printing bigger, you appreciate it much more. These were scanned negatives but the rest were digitally shot. There a more emotional, dark kind of feel, to get the feeling of isolation.
K: And these [the pictures] are all in the same series?
R: This is the same series. The family series. Thise is where I’m taking shots around my house.
K: But it’s all underneath the same kind of idea that you’re telling me about?
R: Yes, a series of being isolated.
K: You can really feel that with just the way that you have an individual standing way off to the side or in the distance. Even the dog. We’re just looking at this big, open space and you really do feel that separate, isolated feeling.
R: This is the next series. I’ve been working on it for a while. I haven’t decided upon a name, people have given me different ideas; The Discarded Series; The Forgotten Series. This is basically to capture things that are falling apart and decaying over New Brunswick to show the true beauty in that. I always noticed that things were falling apart and decaying and I’ve always seen something that was unusual and I would bring it up to people I was with to show “Oh look at the way the light is hitting the ground, how there’s a crack in the wall…” I feel like with non-artists they don’t really appreciate that. They’d say “Oh no that needs to get fixed!” instead of looking at the true beauty of it. In this series I was trying to show the true beauty of each thing.
This is what I want to do for thesis. I want to have a whole wall dedicated to my work. It would be half installation piece and half photography. I feel like if I just do a photography piece it will only take me a month. I need something that is going to challenge me physically emotionally and spiritually so I feel like if I do an instillation piece it will definitely work better. I was thinking of maybe creating a fake wall and maybe adding some kind of decay to it so it’s like an encapsulating space on top of having these photographs in there. They’re actually showing the decay so it’s a play on two.
K: That definitely sounds challenging.
R: Yeah, well I’ve never put up sheet rock, I’ve never built a wall before!
K: Well, in challenging yourself, you might even find yourself crying while doing that. That in the end is going to be worth it because you know that you really tried so hard.
R: Put in my blood, sweat and tears.
K: I’m just really happy to see work like this! Because you’re right! It [photographs] looks so odd and so unique. Sometimes you don’t immediately understand what it is when you initially see it. Especially this [image]
R: I’m not even sure what that is. It was near Boyd Park. But, see, a lot of people would just look past it. When I saw this special scene, this specific scene, I said “I want to start something new!” I want to walk around New Brunswick. So that’s what I do. I walk around New Brunswick with my camera, with a friend, and I take pictures. That’s all I do. And I’ve gone to different places, but for some reason New Brunswick is something that I’m stuck on. I can't get off the series. It’s something I got a lot of compliments for in Junior Review. They told me to continue it; to not stop.
K: I really do agree. This is very good. No one would pick up on these things. Nobody really sees it. And you’re now bringing it to everyone’s attention.
[talking about corroded bride picture]
R: This one is where the color actually printed off. I like the way it printed though, so I didn’t change it.
K: That’s really adds to the effect. I was wondering, “Is there even a place like that?” The brighter blue color makes you really question the situation. It’s a very positive effect.
R: This is actually a bride that’s so corroded away that this is supposed to be cement here [points to picture] It’s so corroded away that the cement came off and it’s just the metal left over.
Things like this. They’re like small aspects that I’d like to bring to attention. Here, there are some skittles sprinkled all over the ground, and a tired that’s there too.
K: That’s really amazing. You know, even I didn’t see that until you pointed it out to me just now!
R: That’s what I wanted. With my earlier stuff I picked up on things that were a little bit more obvious but now I’m focusing on things that it would take a second after you looked at it, and then look again to understand.
K: If I could try and explain how I see this… it’s almost like you’re using your camera as a highlighter to the world we live in.
R: My next experiment I’m trying to focus on isolated environments and having a piece of myself in it. So it looks isolated but it’s something you wouldn’t really notice. Says I had my shoe strewn though here, it’s something that you'd think about and go “Wait a minute! Is that a shoe?” And then you would try and understand what it is and how it got there. I want to be the one to bring life into and isolated environment. I’m putting myself into it. That’s what I want to do my next series on, I’m not sure if I want to continue it for thesis, but I know I’m going to use this theory, this theme of decay.
K: You have a very nice way of show us this decay, but for the most part there is always something bright near it. Like this fence, the skittles, and the “accidental blue” from the bridge. It’s jut something that you’re eye travels to first and then you explore the rest of the pictures as you try and make sense of what you’re seeing. You’re again, bringing these unseen things to our attention.
R: I stumbled upon this whole series. I was thinking at first that I like this. Then I started thinking about places I can travel to to get more pictures of this.
I actually got lucky with a lot of these. I got someone who was able to take me to these places.
K: And you can really factor that in and explain that as part of this series. It’s also about luck and chance. That should definitely be considered in the fact that, like we discussed, no one sees these things. Not many people just stumble upon this, you’ve got the eye for it.
R: I can’t just walk past something like this when I see it. If I have to, I’ll make a note to come back and photograph it. I’m not sure if I’m going to continue this when I graduate, I was planning on going to graduate school for art history. I feel like I have a stronger background in that and that I know more about art history. Sadly, with the way the economy is, I don’t want to put all of my eggs in one basket that might break. I don’t want to fully rely on being an artist, to have it just not be working out, and I couldn’t imagine doing a job that I hate for the rest of my life.
K: I understand. I feel as though a lot of people express similar feelings. Even myself with design. I’m more so taking it slow and enjoying every moment because, like you said, I don’t want to be doing a job that I just don’t like. It’s always good to love what you do, it might not always be easy, but it’s something that you can be content with.
R: That’s why I decided to go to graduate school for art history. I’m thinking I’ll fine tune that and become a professor.
K: I can see you doing that, you love art history. You always have really strong writing and teaching skills. A real leader persona.
The great thing is that you’ll always have this [photography]. It’s possible that you may go into the field and lose your love for it because it’s not just your job. You never want to lose your love for this.
R: I feel like since I didn’t do any of this over the summer, because I took a lot of art history over the summer, that it lessened my focus on art. I’m more so focused on the actual learning of it. That may play into things. If I have a semester full of studio courses I’ll get back into the creating art mode, but if I have the semester full of art history classes I won’t.
K: Yeah, once I finished tackling my entire liberal and art history courses I was so into the education part I needed to get back into creating art. Now that I’m mostly taking studio’s it does become easier.
R: I definitely think I’ve grown a lot since freshman year. We talked about this in my photo class, it’s more about the concept, we’re doing it because there’s a project, we’re doing this because there’s a concept behind it. It’s like everything has to be explained. You can’t just take things blindly, you have to try and find a theme… that’s what we did freshman year.
[referring to a previous picture]
R: This is what I was talking about how it’s [bridge] corroded. Half it is there and half not.
K: It’s almost something to worry about too because things that we think are indestructible… time can just really destroy anything, and then not taking enough care can really break anything down. That’s another trend I see in all of your photos.
R: Time... I’m still having figured out a name for the series. I keep getting more ideas and suggestions. I’m just a little conflicted.
K: I think you’ll know when you figure out the right name for it.
R: I have to let it come on it’s own… maybe it’ll end up just being the Untitled Series.
K: I think it will just hit you when you realize what you want to call it. Everything is eventually going to click in an epiphany and you’re just going to know “This is it.”
R: This [series] is what I’m known for in all my classes. My professor will say “This student has this style, Randi has the decay…” So on and so forth. I’ve done it for a year and I’m sticking with it.
K: Definitely stick with it. It’s incredibly emotional. There’s a huge impact. You can really tell about your growth since freshman year. Your eye for things has gotten stronger, especially in your work for this series.
R: It’s interesting to see how things change. I wanted to be a magazine photographer and that changed too. This series, I’ve never really seen anything quite like it. I’ve seen bits and pieces of artists having done a series with similar content but they haven’t done it in the way I have, or the way I see it it. They haven’t done it in the way that I like it.
K: So you’re going to be the first.
R: Yeah. And most of them are male photographers too. So there’s just a bit a women power in that.
K: We talked about thesis, your portfolio, subjects, themes and growth… do you think that anything; any artists, music, movies… any kind of artistic writing influenced you?
R: I was thinking of one artist that influenced me, William Agleston, who wandered around and took pictures. That’s sort of where I got this idea from. There hasn’t been an artist that just make me feel “OK this is what I want to do” With my old portrait series it was that way. I had done portraiture about those with some sort of a deformity, I had done a lot with the homeless around New Brunswick, asking to take their picture or just taking it without them realizing. I got inspired by Diane Arbus. That was sophomore year. This year I can’t really say who influenced me, I really just stumbled upon it. I’ve been finding more artists that relate to my work… but in doing that I feel like I’m forcing people into that place. I stumbled upon it myself; nothing influenced me. I did it myself. With the decay series William Eggleston put the idea in my head of just wandering around and the idea of impersonal, outside the studio photography. There isn't really a photographer that really pushed me into this. I have a list now of photographer that relate to my work, but no, I wasn’t influenced by any certain photographer.
K: Alright, well I think we got everything. I think we’re good.
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